Ho hum...

Well it has been a long time since I posted here and the main reason is that I have been finding life a bit flat. I still haven't found a job and it has been getting me down a bit. I feel like life is rather pointless. But looking back it hasn't been all bad by any means.


One of the best things has been settling back into church. I'm the first to admit that I screwed up last year on that count. Although it is true I was away a lot, I often travelled in a way that meant I stayed at my parents over the weekend between events. I could have travelled on the day a bit more. But then doing so has helped me this year. I managed to get to church in Leeds quite often, in fact I think more times that year than the three years of university before. I went to the church for a year or so before I moved to Newcastle and the congregation changed somewhat during that time. Since I have moved back to Leeds I have rejoined the church and I am seeing the benefit of staying in touch last year. Most of the people I regularly spoke have left and I am making friends with new people. Also I am there on my own merit as it were, as an adult rather than a child, which has helped me relate to people better.


I have also done a slightly better job of staying in contact with people this year, though I have definitely screwed up big time in one case. I haven't really managed to maintain relationships with people from school, college or uni, but I have so far kept up with a lot of people from last year. Mainly the staff and Relay workers from the north east, but also people from the cus I worked with. I have also made friends with the wonderful Simon Oatridge, the new staff worker i Sheffield. I met him for the the first time at Forum, and I am working with him to organize the technical side of Forum NE, the replacement for the new leaders' training weekend.


I will be in London this Saturday attending the BAFRA board meeting. I am running for Director of Recruitment, which I am definitely the outsider for, and I'm going to get a feeling for what's involved. I'll also be in Newcastle on Monday. I'm going up with my Dad to check out the flat he rents out. As far as we know everything is fine but we'll start planning maintenance for the summer.


It is definitely the case that the things I am looking forward to the most are ones that get me out of Leeds. In the next couple of months I am helping at a UCCF conference in Doncaster, attending a weekend-long first aid course with St John Ambulance in Chesterfield, going to the BAFRA convention in Coventry and again helping at New Word Alive down in Wales. But what I want most is to find a job.


I'll leave this for now as I have stuff to do, but I'll be back :)


JM

A day in Durham

edit::I don't know why but this has jumped up to the top of the list of posts. It is from May 1st and is a bit old. Confusing...


Ah. The annoyance of phones. I. have just tried to post from the train and the fun of the phone browser means if you switch to another app you somehow Los everything. Well with opera mini anyway.


Anywho, as I implied, I am currently on the train to Durham for the northern version of the CU leaders' day. As well as Durham we have students coming from Cleveland,Newcastle and Sunderland. There is another happening simultaneously in leeddvalso serving Bradford, Huddersfield, Hull, Sheffield and York.


The aim is to build on the New Leaders' Training Weekend we had in Doncaster back in February. Hopefully the students will come away enthused for their mission and full of ideas. I will be helping Pete Dray with a seminar on running engaging events. It should be fun :)


ps: Opera Mini is infuriating. This has taken about 5mins to write and about half an hour to post. For some reason you can't exit the text box without going back to the previous page. I think it's still in beta which might be the problem. Well I'm actually arriving in Durham so bye

Away we go :)

So this weekend we are having a family holiday. Youth hostelling in the Peak district. A perfect excuse to go to Bakewell for some treats.


It does mean that once again I will miss church in Leeds. It is becoming a bad habit, but I will take the opportunity to see if anyone is around at Fulwood. Unfortunately I already know that Lewis isn't going to be there, but I shall see.


I believe it may be a bit too cold to go climbing peaks at this time of the year -  it feels freezing at normal altitudes. Apparently there are some caves we can visit which may save us if it rains. I should probably check the forecast actually.On that note...


JM

Why I need grace.

Tonight things have come to a head in a way. It has become apparent that I have been dealing with some big issues for years. Or rather, failing to deal with them. I have been trying to be strong and though it out, failing to see that I need support. People have offered but I believed I was in control and could deal with things. I have been under some stress for a while and there are things I need to come to terms with from years ago.


My mum is amazing and has been supporting my dad through some hard times, and she has had support from outside the family. I have tried to be supportive but I now see that supporting someone else takes its toll and leads you to need support. Which, as I said, I haven't been getting.


As I have tried to keep stress contained this has led to me venting frustration at seemingly minor things and at people who are not the cause. I would like to apologize now for all the times I have messed up. I would like to particularly apologize to my mum and dad, David Bass, Alastair Stanley, Matt Oliver, Rob Davidson, Holly Phillips, Lucy Popeski, Sophie Meredith, Emma Best, Joel Forster, Holly Reger, Matt Llewellyn, Paul Oatridge, Rebecca Harris, Mark Mullis & Erik Peeters.


I have been guilty of the arrogance of believing that I was strong enough to get through hard times without help. I need to accept the help of others and above all accept that I need God's grace in my life, as I constantly mess up and on my own I cannot sort it all out.


Sorry everyone.


JM

Nostalgia

I am in the midst of an application form at the moment and I need to write a page or two about my life as a Christian. This has got me thinking about the past and little of it I can remember.Whilst I currently only have 15 or so years of happenings to remember so far there is much I cannot easily recall. As I hope to have a long and happy life, and maybe even some kids and grandkids to share it with, I think I should make a record of it whilst I can remember it. I obviously don't refer to the more mundane things in life, but anecdotes from my time at school. college and uni; all the other other random things I have done such as scout camps and church trips away.


I need to work out how to do this, whether to note stuff down as it occurs to me or whether to try and work systematically through the years, blocking out time spent in different places or doing different things then filling in the details gradually. It probably makes more sense to work backwards from the present, but I'll see how it feels as I go along. I will probably need to ask a few people what they remember - my parents are probably quite helpful.


Anywho, I will see if I can fit any of this around my job-hunt. I have to crack on with these forms, have a bath and eat before church smallgroup tonight.


JM